CAST: ROBERT and BILLY. Two men in their late 30s. Familiar in a way that only men who’ve known each other since childhood can be. There are frequent silences between the 2, but no silence is uncomfortable. A true measure of friendship.

SETTING: A rounded horseshoe bar….where the men sit almost facing each other. They speak to a "bartender" occasionally, but when the drinks are ordered they come from invisible hands behind the bar.

As the play begins, both men are well on their way to being drunk, and as it progresses they get…well…progressively drunker. The first 60 seconds or so all is silent. Just the 2 men drinking.

ROBERT: (Looking at BILLY…who has his head down, staring into his beer. He peers for a long time) What’s the matter?

BILLY: (not noticing) Huh?

ROBERT: You seem down

BILLY: What?

ROBERT: You seem down tonight

BILLY: (cynical) Sorry mom.

ROBERT: Well you do.

BILLY: It’s early. I’m not drunk enough

ROBERT: Fair enough

(long pause)

BILLY: I save the serious depression for later.

ROBERT: So you are down?

BILLY: What?

ROBERT: I said you seemed down.

BILLY: I heard you the first time.

ROBERT: No you didn’t

BILLY: What?

ROBERT: If you heard me the first time you wouldn’t have said "what" after I said you seemed down.

BILLY: I said "what" because I hear you but don’t listen to anything you say

ROBERT: Oh well…..thanks for clearing that up

BILLY: You’re welcome

(another pause)

ROBERT: Anything on TV?

BILLY: Just Jeopardy.

ROBERT: I hate Jeopardy. 

BILLY: Nobody hates Jeopardy.

ROBERT: Didn’t you just hear me say I did?

BILLY: You’re full of shit. You don’t hate Jeopardy.

ROBERT: I do.

BILLY: Why?

ROBERT: It makes me feel stupid.

BILLY: You are stupid….so it merely brings reality to the fore and you don’t like reality.

ROBERT: Well neither do you.

BILLY: How do you know?

ROBERT: Because you’re sitting next to me.

BILLY: Oh.

(pause)

ROBERT: I am not stupid. I know the damn answers but I think before I speak goddamit. Like there’s not enough pressure in this shitty world….now not only do you have to know the length, width, and depth of the Nile River, but you have to know the answer faster than some pencil necked dweeb next to you holding a damn buzzer. 

BILLY: Methinks you’re taking Jeopardy a bit too seriously.

ROBERT: Being smart is not good enough for that show. You need to be intelligent and be on uppers. The show drives me to drink.

BILLY: (motioning to his empty beer) Speaking of which….

ROBERT: It’s your round.

BILLY: (indignant) Like hell it is.

ROBERT: I bought the last round…..so that means it’s your round. You see….I’m not stupid after all.

BILLY: You didn’t buy the last round.

ROBERT: I did. Yuengling is 2 bucks a bottle….I broke a 20 with the last round and now I have 16 dollars left.

(shows him the money laying on the bar)

BILLY: You broke a 20?

ROBERT: Yes

BILLY: Your wife lets you have 20s?

ROBERT: I don’t have a wife.

BILLY: Oh. Right. Forgot. (pause) You used to didn’t you?

ROBERT: (exasperated) I used to have lots of them.

BILLY: What happened to them?

ROBERT: What do you mean "what happened to them"? You think I buried them in the backyard or something?

BILLY: No, that’s not what I meant. I was just wondering….you know…..if you keep in touch with them or not. Jeez….you’re a touchy bastard.

ROBERT: I get like that when my beer is empty and it’s your round

BILLY: It’s not my round!

ROBERT: It is 

BILLY: (short pause…now all of a sudden genuinely interested in the following question) Who’s on a $20 bill?

ROBERT: What?

BILLY: You said you had a $20 bill…

ROBERT: So…

BILLY: Who’s on it? I don’t think I’ve ever seen one.

ROBERT: How should I know!

BILLY: Well check.

ROBERT: I can’t. I bought the beers with it. I don’t have it anymore.

BILLY: Oh. I thought because you weren’t married anymore you’d have lots of $20s

ROBERT: Sorry….doesn’t work that way. Call my ex-wives. They’ll know.

(quiet for a few moments as they drink)

BILLY: How’d you get your hands on a $20 then?

ROBERT: I’m not married anymore.

BILLY: I know that.

ROBERT: You didn’t know that until about 30 seconds ago because you asked about my wife.

BILLY: It’s hard to keep up.

ROBERT: Tell me about it.

BILLY: How long have we known each other?

ROBERT: Since the 2^nd grade.

BILLY: (a pause….thinking hard now….staring straight ahead) You think I would know things like that then.

ROBERT: Like what?

BILLY: That you weren’t married anymore.

ROBERT: Yea….well…..you’re terribly self-absorbed.

BILLY: I’m taking the 5^th on that one…..plus we are drunk much of the time.

ROBERT: I might be drunker now if you weren’t so fucking slow to pay for your round.

BILLY: Do you think we have drinking problems?

ROBERT: I have a large one right now. I can’t seem to get you to pay for my next beer.

BILLY: I’m trying to be serious and you’re being flippant.

ROBERT: I’m being what?

BILLY: Flippant.

ROBERT: Flippant?

BILLY: Yes….do I have to tell you what it means?

ROBERT: You can try but there’s no guarantee that I’ll pay any attention to you.

BILLY: It means "marked by disrespectful levity or casualness"

ROBERT: Oh….well in that case I should have flippantly kicked your ass in 2^nd grade.

BILLY: Maybe we drink too much.

ROBERT: Please. My liver can’t take the booze and you at the same time.

BILLY: How many ex-wives do you have?

ROBERT: If we’re gonna talk about ex-wives we have to do shots. Beer is not enough.

BILLY: How many?

ROBERT: About 10 or 12 maybe.

BILLY: You have half a dozen ex-wives?

ROBERT: No asshole….that’s how many shots we should do.

BILLY: Oh….well how many ex-wives do you have?

ROBERT: Three not counting Carol.

BILLY: Why doesn’t Carol count?

ROBERT: She’s not an official ex-wife yet.

BILLY: She’s in the waiting room is she?

ROBERT: Just waiting for the paperwork to go through.

BILLY: Maybe you have 3 ex-wives and one in the waiting room because you drink too much.

ROBERT: (turning to face him quickly) Maybe I drink too much because I have 3 ex-wives and one in the waiting room. Ever think of that?

BILLY: You’re twisting things…..the sign of an alcoholic.

ROBERT: The sign of an alcoholic should be a full bottle of fucking beer in front of him paid for by somebody else!

BILLY: Don’t get so angry.

ROBERT: I’m not angry!

BILLY: You’re yelling.

ROBERT: So what! We’re not in church. (looks around) Look at these people. Somebody could roll a bomb in here and they wouldn’t leave their stools. Check it out (he demonstrates the overall stupor of the place by yelling "FIRE FIRE" and watching nothing happen) See? Nobody cares that I’m yelling. It’s like the cast of the Iceman Cometh in here.

BILLY: So you admit that you drink too much?

ROBERT: What?

BILLY: You just admitted it. You said you drink too much because of your ex-wives.

ROBERT: No I didn’t.

BILLY: Yes you did.

ROBERT: I was being flippant.

BILLY: (exasperated) Oh God….

ROBERT: Can I get another beer please?

BILLY: Sure you can…..you have $16 burning a hole in your pocket.

ROBERT: It’s your round!

BILLY: No wonder your wives leave you. Stubborn bastard (pulls out money, pays for new beers with crumpled up $1 bills)

ROBERT: (checks the money pile) Any $20s in there?

BILLY: Please.

ROBERT: What’s the matter? You seem down.

BILLY: (yelling) I’m not down!

ROBERT: Why are you getting angry?

BILLY: I’m not angry!

ROBERT: You’re yelling.

BILLY: You just said it was acceptable behavior to yell in here.

ROBERT: Just not used to you yelling that’s all. You were always the quiet one.

BILLY: Everybody seems quiet next to you.

ROBERT: You’ve obviously purged my ex-wives from your phaser banks.

BILLY: From my what?

ROBERT: Your phaser banks.

BILLY: Like on Star Trek?.

ROBERT: Yes….for the slow among you that was a Star Trek reference.

BILLY: How old are you again?

ROBERT: (insulted) Look….Mr. Scott just died OK? Star Trek popped into my head.

BILLY: Oh yea….I read that in the news too. (suddenly interested) He should have died a long time ago. His goddamn phasers never worked. He was the worst engineer in the world.

ROBERT: That used to piss me off. No matter what….they’d get beamed down to some planet, and the phasers and communicators never worked. It was like some alien kid could come and stick his finger in one to disable it.

BILLY: "Beam me up Scotty". Remember that one? 

ROBERT: Yea…Kirk used to say that all the time.

BILLY: You ought to watch Jeopardy more intently…’cause Kirk never said it. 

ROBERT: What?

BILLY: He never once uttered the line "beam me up Scotty" in all the years the show was on.

ROBERT: How old are you?

BILLY: (smug) Ignorance is ugly my friend.

ROBERT: Do you know the length, avg. width, and avg. depth of the Nile River?

BILLY: No.

ROBERT: Well then shut the fuck up Gene Roddenberry.

(they let this die for a moment….and then….)

BILLY: Mr. Scott liked to drink too.

ROBERT: What?

BILLY: He drank. Maybe that’s why the phasers never worked.

ROBERT: You’re rambling babe. (long pause….peers over at him intently) Why so down?

BILLY: You think I drink too much?

ROBERT: What?

BILLY: Do you?

ROBERT: Won’t I be incriminating myself by answering that question?

BILLY: Just been thinking about it lately.

ROBERT: Well stop thinking and start drinking. You’re much more fun that way.

BILLY: Sorry.

ROBERT: What’s the matter? You seem down.

BILLY: (finally exploding) I am down asshole!

ROBERT: See. I knew it all along. What’s the matter?

BILLY: I’m not sure you’re the right person to tell.

ROBERT: Oh….well I could get Willie over there (they peer towards the other end of the "bar") to stop sleeping in his own drool and serve as therapist if you prefer. Take a look around you. I’m all you got in here.

BILLY: Maybe I should go talk about it somewhere else with somebody else.

ROBERT: You never go anywhere else.

(long pause….they drink some more and then….)

BILLY: My wife left me.

ROBERT: Who?

BILLY: My wife.

ROBERT: You got married?

BILLY: You were the best man at my wedding.

ROBERT: (indignant) I better have been.

BILLY: You don’t remember do you?

ROBERT: Not really….no. Must have been a helluva wedding. Can you give me a hint?

BILLY: The wedding itself went much better than the actual marriage.

ROBERT: I think I remember it now. Was it outside?

BILLY: The wedding itself was outside…yes. The actual marriage took place behind closed doors so nobody could see her horns and tail.

ROBERT: Did I get naked and jump into the pond behind the gazebo?

BILLY: Yes, you did.

ROBERT: Who was I married to at the time?

BILLY: Whoever it was didn’t stay married to you long after that.

ROBERT: Well that doesn’t narrow it down any.

BILLY: (desparing) Jesus Christ…..you called me self absorbed.

ROBERT: What?

BILLY: I just told you my world has been ripped apart and you’re trying to figure out which of your multiple divorces was pending!

ROBERT: You didn’t say your world had been ripped apart.

BILLY: What?

ROBERT: All you said is that your wife left you.

BILLY: Yes.

ROBERT: Oh….so I’m supposed to deduce the "world being ripped apart" thing on my own?

BILLY: I knew you were the wrong person to talk to.

ROBERT: We need more shots.

BILLY: It’s your round.

ROBERT: Yes….thank you. I know that.

BILLY: I thought you might try to exploit my grief and skip your turn.

ROBERT: If I thought I could get away with it I would try. (long pause) Shit…she left you already?

BILLY: What am I gonna do? (he starts bawling now….head laying on the bar)

ROBERT: How about we do some shots? Your round.

BILLY: (still with head on bar….totally limp, he talks to an imaginary barkeep) "Jimmy? Couple of shooters and a refill over here." 

ROBERT: (he now tries to calm BILLY) There there now. See? Just like John Kerry said…"help is on the way."

BILLY: I am blinded by grief and even I know that that didn’t turn out so well.

ROBERT: Shots are more reliable than Democrats.

BILLY: How can you be so…..so….

ROBERT: Flippant?

BILLY: Yes…goddamit. Flippant.

ROBERT: Repetition my friend. I’ve been where you are many times.

BILLY: And?

ROBERT: And what?

BILLY: What did you do?

ROBERT: I started drinking shots.

(BILLY starts crying even louder now….banging his head off the bar. The shots and beers appear from hands behind the bar)

BILLY: (in total despair…almost wailing) I’m an alcoholic divorcee.

ROBERT: Welcome to the club my friend (he toasts him) In case you’re wondering, I’m the treasurer so make out your dues check to me.

BILLY: (head down on the bar) How did this happen to me?

ROBERT: The reason you are getting divorced is because you got married.

BILLY: (picks his head up) What?

ROBERT: Ever hear of somebody not married getting divorced?

BILLY: No.

ROBERT: Well….there you go.

BILLY: I need a drink. (confused now…lost track of time) Is it my round?

(his friend quickly downs the 2^nd shot and hides the 2^nd beer…)

ROBERT: Yes it is.

BILLY: "Jimmy….couple of shooters over here?"

ROBERT: Relax now. Did she mention the word "divorce"? Maybe she’s just blowing off steam and needs some time.

BILLY: Actually she didn’t mention that word, but she did mention the words….."harder Paulie…..harder" so it’s kinda the same thing.

ROBERT: What?

BILLY: She was banging Paulie Rowlands and I came home early.

ROBERT: Paulie Rowlands?

BILLY: Yep.

ROBERT: He’s handsome at least.

BILLY: Yea…he’s not bad.

ROBERT: When did this happen?

BILLY: Election day.

ROBERT: Yea?

BILLY: It was closed here until the polls closed…and I guess she forgot that.

ROBERT: Well….at least she voted.

BILLY: (bitterly) I’ve hated you since the 2^nd grade.

ROBERT: So you threw her out?

BILLY: No…she threw me out.

ROBERT: For coming home early?

BILLY: I guess.

ROBERT: Where you staying?

BILLY: Don’t know. In a hotel now.

ROBERT: Wanna stay with me?

BILLY: No.

ROBERT: Got any other options.

BILLY: No.

ROBERT: Ok then. You can have the couch.

BILLY: Thanks.

ROBERT: It’s your round.

BILLY: It is?

ROBERT: Yea….don’t try to sop me with your little Paulie Rowlands story.

BILLY: "Jimmy, play it again here". 

ROBERT: We still doing the shots?

BILLY: You’re the expert…..should we?

ROBERT: Paulie Rowland is fucking your wife in your own bed. I would think it’s a no brainer.

(BILLY bursts into tears again….ROBERT realizes he was a little harsh maybe) Ah c’mon now. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said it like that.

BILLY: Oh yea……well how else could you have said it!

ROBERT: What….you mean to ease the blow some?

BILLY: Yea….

ROBERT: (realizes something) Sorry….poor choice of words there.

BILLY: What?

ROBERT: Easing the blow. You know…if he was banging her…you know she was…

(BILLY bursts into tears again) I’m sorry….sorry. There’s other ways to look at this.

BILLY: (sarcastic) Really? Such as?

ROBERT: Maybe he forced himself on her.

BILLY: She was yelling "harder Paulie harder".

ROBERT: Ok ok…..I admit that’s a tough one to spin.

BILLY: Gee…ya think?

ROBERT: Why do you think she did it?

BILLY: Because she’s a slut?

ROBERT: Well, that’s the anger answer.

BILLY: What?

ROBERT: That’s just your anger talking.

BILLY: Who the fuck are you…Oprah?

ROBERT: Listen, I know women Ok? And they don’t hop into bed with a Paulie Rowlands for no reason.

BILLY: You know women?

ROBERT: Yes.

BILLY: You repel women like a backyard bug zapper. You’ve been divorced 4 times.

ROBERT: Three times. 4^th one is pending.

BILLY: You’re giving me advice?

ROBERT: Listen, you want to hear what women are capable of from some guy who’s been married once for 70 years? That’s like getting the birds and bees speech from a priest.

BILLY: I got the birds and bees speech from a priest actually.

ROBERT: You did?

BILLY: Yea. My parents were too nervous so they sent me to Father Phil.

ROBERT: What did he tell you?

BILLY: He said I should become a priest and that way I wouldn’t have to deal with the birds or the bees.

ROBERT: Well, now you’re dealing with swarms of both of ‘em.

BILLY: (despairingly) I shoulda become a priest.

ROBERT: Where is Father Phil nowaways?

BILLY: He’s married and lives in Avoca.

ROBERT: Ok then….lets get back to your wife again shall we?

BILLY: (bitterly) I think you gotta stand in line.

ROBERT: Hey….it’s your round you know.

BILLY: It is?

ROBERT: Yes…stop trying to distract me with your wretched little life.

BILLY: Did we ever settle on the shots?

ROBERT: I’m leaving it up to you. 

BILLY: "Jimmy….refill and a couple of shooters"

ROBERT: Good boy. You’re finally thinking straight. There’s hope for you yet. Now…why is your wife boinking Paulie Rowlands?

BILLY: What do you mean "is"?

ROBERT: What….you think she suddenly stopped after kicking you out of the house? (BILLY breaks down crying again……and once again ROBERT realizes he’s been too rough) Sorry. Sorry. Jesus….you gotta toughen up. No wonder she’s looking elsewhere.

BILLY: (catches that remark) What?

ROBERT: (plows ahead) How was your sex life?

BILLY: My sex life? 

ROBERT: Yea…..they say a woman never cheats just for the sex….but I don’t want to rule it out completely.

BILLY: Rule what out?

ROBERT: Were you giving her what she needed?

BILLY: Excuse me?

ROBERT: Hey, I’m just trying to help. If you don’t want to talk about it, I’m quite content to sit here in silence and get even drunker than usual.

BILLY: Well maybe you’d better then!

ROBERT: Ok (long pause)…..but it’s your round.

BILLY: It is?

ROBERT: Yes…..it is. I’m ready for a shooter. Get me one and we’ll talk about something else.

BILLY: "Jimmy….couple of shooters here". So…we’ll talk about something else?

ROBERT: Whatever you say.

BILLY: Ok. You start then.

ROBERT: Ok. (pause) How’s the little lady?

BILLY: (explodes) Fuck off!

ROBERT: (realizing what he said….) Sorry…sorry.

BILLY: Hey!

ROBERT: What?

BILLY: What’s that on the bar?

ROBERT: What?

BILLY: In front of you…..

ROBERT: What?

BILLY: It’s a $10….a $5…and a $1

ROBERT: I’m impressed. Can you do card tricks too?

BILLY: That’s $16

ROBERT: So

BILLY: You came in with a $20…and bought the first round….and you haven’t bought another one since. You are exploiting my misery!

ROBERT: What misery?

BILLY: My wife is sleeping with another man!

ROBERT: I thought you didn’t want to talk about it.

BILLY: I don’t.

ROBERT: Well then stop bringing it up every 2 minutes and buy me another shot. It’s your round.

BILLY: It is?

ROBERT: Yes. I shouldn’t have to keep reminding you.

BILLY: "Jimmy….couple of shooters here" (they drink….then a long pause) Weren’t we talking about sex?

ROBERT: We were on the subject but you got all puritanical on me so I dropped it.

BILLY: I did not.

ROBERT: If you don’t want my help then don’t ask for it.

BILLY: (indignant) Ok!

ROBERT: Ok!

(they stew and drink in silence for a few minutes)

BILLY: (blurts out) We hardly ever had sex.

ROBERT: What?

BILLY: You asked if I was giving her what she needed. I don’t think I was.

ROBERT: Why not then?

BILLY: I don’t think she liked me all that much.

ROBERT: She married you….she must have liked you at one time.

BILLY: She said I drink too much…and that after I was drinking I was…..you know…

ROBERT: A limp dick? (BILLY bursts into tears again. ROBERT gives a "here we go again" roll of the eyes before consoling him) Cmon….it’s just an expression. This isn’t your fault. It’s hers.

BILLY: How do you know?

ROBERT: Because it’s more fun to blame the women that’s why. Now, do you want to sit here and flog yourself, or do you want to come up with different ways we can blame her?

BILLY: (picks his head off the bar and is now bleary eyed and hopeful) Lets blame her.

ROBERT: Ok…now you’re talking. Now….she probably whined all the time about how you were never around right?

BILLY: Right.

ROBERT: Well….it’s not like she didn’t know where you were. If she wanted to spend some quality time with you she could have come down here. You two lovebirds could have talked for hours.

BILLY: (liking this) Yea!

ROBERT: See….she’s selfish. She wants your time…..but on her terms.

BILLY: Yea!

ROBERT: She ever come hunting with us?

BILLY: No.

ROBERT: Ever take her to the ballet?

BILLY: Yes.

ROBERT: She watch football with you on Sundays?

BILLY: No.

ROBERT: You watch Will and Grace at night with her?

BILLY: No.

ROBERT: (surprised by this) You don’t?

BILLY: No….I’m usually here when that’s on.

ROBERT: Oh….but if you were home….would you watch it with her?

BILLY: Yes.

ROBERT: Why?

BILLY: She won’t let me watch what I want in the bedroom..

ROBERT: Why don’t you make her watch football.

BILLY: She’d tell me to piss off.

ROBERT: Why don’t you tell her to piss off when she wants to watch Will and Grace?

BILLY: Because she’d get mad at me.

ROBERT: Does is bother you when she’s mad at you?

BILLY: Yes.

ROBERT: Does it bother her when you’re mad at her?

BILLY: No.

ROBERT: Why is that?

BILLY: Why is what?

ROBERT: If I piss you off what do you say?

BILLY: I tell you to fuck off.

ROBERT: If she makes you mad what do you say?

BILLY: I don’t say anything.

ROBERT: Why not?

BILLY: Because if I do she’d get mad at me.

ROBERT: So in a way you’re more comfortable with me than you are with her.

BILLY: (nervously) Well….

ROBERT: Now don’t get all homophobic on me….I’m just making a point.

BILLY: I wasn’t!

ROBERT: How long have we been friends?

BILLY: About 30 years.

ROBERT: How long have you known your wife?

BILLY: Two years.

ROBERT: In 30 years I’ve never banged Paulie Rowlands….and it takes your wife only 2. What does that tell you about friendship?

BILLY: It tells me you’re not gay.

ROBERT: Anything else?

BILLY: (rubbing his eyes) Give me a minute, I’m trying to clear the mental image of you and Paulie Rowlands.

ROBERT: (brightens) Shots will do that!

BILLY: Good idea.

ROBERT: Your round.

BILLY: Again?

ROBERT: Time flies when your wife if cheating on you. (BILLY breaks down crying again) Oh God. Listen. You gotta toughen up some. You know what’s good for that?

BILLY: Shots?

ROBERT: Shots.

BILLY: "Jimmy, couple of shooters here.". Strange though….

ROBERT: What’s that?

BILLY: We’ve been friends for 30 years and I forgot you were seperated and you forgot I was married.

ROBERT: That’s because friends don’t quibble over the insignificant details.

BILLY: And because we’re always in here.

ROBERT: So we’re creatures of habit. Big deal.

BILLY: You’ve had affairs on me though. I’m not your only friend.

ROBERT: But I’m your best friend right?

BILLY: Yes.

ROBERT: And you can always rely on me.

BILLY: When you’re sober at least.

ROBERT: I’m nowhere near sober right now and you can still rely on me.

BILLY: That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.

ROBERT: Thank you.

BILLY: You’re welcome.

(long pause)

ROBERT: Want to hug?

BILLY: Um…..do you?

ROBERT: I asked you first.

BILLY: Are we drunk enough to hug?

ROBERT: I know I am.

BILLY: Me too I guess.

(they come closer…..but then stop)

ROBERT: Should it be a long drawn out hug or a quickie?

BILLY: Since it’s our first it should probably be short and sweet….doncha think? Hey….(looking around the bar) do you think the guys will…..you know…

ROBERT: (yells to the bar) Hey! Any of you drunken bastards have a problem with me hugging my best friend? (they both peer around) See…nobody cares. We’re all confident manly men in here.

BILLY: Yea…

ROBERT: It’s not our first hug anyway…

BILLY: It isn’t?

ROBERT: No.

BILLY: When did we hug before?

ROBERT: At your wedding.

(at the mention of this BILLY breaks down crying yet again…then suddenly stops as he realizes something)

BILLY: I thought you said you couldn’t remember my wedding.

ROBERT: It’s all coming back to me now.

BILLY: Did I seem happy then?

ROBERT: What….when you were hugging me at your wedding?

BILLY: No….at my wedding in general.

ROBERT: I don’t remember. 

BILLY: You said it was all coming back to you.

ROBERT: That part hasn’t yet.

BILLY: Will you let me know when it does?

ROBERT: Of course.

BILLY: You know what might job the memory though?

ROBERT: Shots?

BILLY: Shots. Isn’t it your round?

ROBERT: It’s yours…..but I got this one buddy. Put your money away.

(they get another round)

BILLY: You know…..(thinks better of it….stops)

ROBERT: What?

BILLY: Nothing.

ROBERT: Cmon. No secrets here. What?

BILLY: It’s our own fault you know.

ROBERT: What is?

BILLY: That we’re alone.

(extra long pause…..ROBERT nods and they let this pass as they both pick up their drinks and stare into them…..and then at the exact same time the shots are downed. Perfect synchronicity)

ROBERT: We’re not alone. We have each other.

BILLY: Should we hug now?

ROBERT: We could hug.

BILLY: Did we ever decide what kind of hug would be best.

ROBERT: How ‘bout the kind where you have to drink a shot before you hug.

BILLY: Those are my favorite kind of hugs.

ROBERT: And what do you know….it’s your round.

BILLY: "Jimmy, get me and the wife another round."

ROBERT: What?

BILLY: What?

ROBERT: Nothing.

BILLY: Thanks buddy.

ROBERT: What are friends for?

End of Play